Cruel World

sea-spray and several tightly woven salt-laden oceans / the wicked sun rising in my dusk setting in your dawn / blond eyelashes licked beaded with sweat blinking away flecks of sand wrapping holding close the honey-sweet dazzle of your eye / im sick with it (of it?) of grappling with silent enigmas and souls sitting quietly in kitchens see-through fingers wrapped round a steaming mug / the gentle way in which you breathe trying hard not to disturb the air and your chest rises so slow maybe i’m hoping you just die / skeleton key rusty lock mythic ball evil chain / i want you nauseating i need you humiliating / you walk like a sleepy sibling through my dreams and my waking moments blur fire at the edges / i find you captivating almost deadly i find you blues i find you jazz i find you sleepwalking through my head in the still part of the night / i dont mean to demean you but you don’t know how loneliness really tastes you haven’t made a habit of solitary confinement in the local cinema and you live / it’s why i ache & why i wouldn’t even flinch if you hurt me don’t you see it? / i’m a wound an open sore now don’t you see it? / stick me with that cigarette let me feel it / i want to be a fragment of your something i want to be tangible or even something more chemical than a feeling / i want your perversion and sandpaper tongue on the slope of my back / make me think of childhood and tear-stained pillowcases make me vomit nostalgia / i bet your kisses taste close to suicide